This past Saturday evening, Valentine’s Eve, Jon and I ended up at Applebee’s for dinner. We were headed home after teaching at a retreat Friday night and Saturday. Tired, hungry, anxious to see our kids, we hoped that an 8:30 p.m. dinner meant no waiting. Ha! Not on Valentine’s Eve. Five minutes into our wait, the hostess announced there were seats at the bar- no waiting…  I looked at Jon. He looked at me. We’re walking in grace, right? We took the seats.

Now while I don’t recommend bar-hopping as a way to learn how to minister more effectively, we did take away a few lessons.

Greeting – We were immediately greeted and welcomed by the bartender and the guys sitting around us. It didn’t matter that we weren’t drinkers.

When newcomers drop in our churches, we need to do our best to make them feel comfortable and connected even if they are not participating in our primary function, that is, even if they aren’t believers. Sometimes what happens, though, is we are so excited to have visitors we can’t help but act weird, and we end up making them feel uncomfortable.

Jargon – There is a lingo that allows a bartender and a patron to communicate. It’s almost like a code. And we have a tremendous body of jargon in the church. It leaves outsiders firmly planted there on the outside.

Cliques – We listened to the guys and the bartender talk about what was going on with some of the other regulars. We had no idea who they were talking about, and it highlighted our status as visitors.

Giving – Both guys had sizable bar tabs- considerably more than our dinners cost, but they each left 40% tips! Do we blow our visitors away with our generosity?

Boldness – We walked back into the bar like we belonged, blessed our food just like we always do. Don’t be surprised when our visitors don’t immediately convert and start doing things our way. They are going to do what makes them most comfortable. We need to be accommodating so that visitors can become regulars.

After giving a series of parables, Jesus asked His disciples if they understood His words. They answered that they did, and He replied:

(MSG) [Jesus] said, “Then you see how every student well-trained in God’s kingdom is like the owner of a general store who can put his hands on anything you need, old or new, exactly when you need it.” Matthew 13:52

In that simple statement, Jesus answers the question of why we need to study. God has a storehouse of wisdom and instruction in His Word- Old and New Testament- that covers the range of human experiences. Studying helps us find the answers we need AND the answers for others who come to us for insight.

The Holy Spirit stands ready to help us absorb, interpret and apply all these things, but He won’t unless we apply ourselves to learning.

I love the story of the prodigal son. It’s such a deep story with so many layers and applications. For just a moment, focus with me on the end of the story. Imagine being that young man thrust in the middle of the banquet. He was surrounded by family and friends who had known him since he was a kid, but they also knew his story. Everybody there knew what he had done, knew how he had disrespected his father, knew how he had lived his life. They’d heard all the gossip about the immorality, the prostitutes and the partying.

How do you feel? Uncomfortable? Ashamed? Undeserving? Afraid of rejection?

Ephesians 1:3-6 contain some of the most mind-blowing truths in Scripture, and it finishes up with God’s grace “by which He made us accepted in the Beloved”. Accepted- highly favored, honored, showered with blessing.

As the boy journeyed home, his only concern was how his father would receive him. His father welcomed him joyfully, his heart overflowing with love. How does our Father receive us? The very same way. Everyone else at the banquet shared the father’s heart and rejoiced with him. Only those outside the banquet resented the grace the father showed the prodigal.

I need to focus on my Father, who accepts me, favors me, showers me with blessing. The people outside the banquet- He’ll deal with them in His wisdom just as the father in the story approached his older son.

When it’s someone else’s banquet, I need to make sure which side of the door I’m on- the rejoicing side or the pouting side.

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Starting tomorrow evening, my husband and I are teaching at a True Love Waits retreat. I’m also on the verge of finishing up a difficult draft of a story that takes a hard look at the nature of true love. Whether between spouses, among family members or friends, true love follows Christ’s example. While I wouldn’t presume to tackle the vast topic of Christ’s love, I hope to provoke some thoughts.

True Love initiates – God chose us without waiting to see how we would respond. True Love boldly and confidently makes the first move.

True Love risks – God knew that we would reject Him, and He chose to love us anyway. True Love understands that love may not be reciprocated, but chooses to love anyway.

True Love sacrifices – Jesus Christ sacrificed more for us than we comprehend. However, His sacrifice wasn’t wasted on our selfish aspirations. He sacrificed to redeem us.

True Love commits – Jesus said He would never leave us or forsake us. Never. True Love isn’t shallow or fair-weather. It is forever.

True Love is not a feeling, it is a decision.