Paula Wiseman » depression

Delighted

Paula — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 12:15:57 +0000

One of my favorite Psalms is number 18. Buried within it, in verse 17 is a line that says "He delivered me from my strong enemy." You see, I have a strong enemy. Its name is depression. It slips in, and usually I don't recognize it until it's settled in and made itself at home. I've struggled with it my whole adult life. In fact I'm struggling now.

The battle is exhausting. It saps my energy and creativity. It distracts me from every good thing in my life. That's its strategy- to pull my focus away until I'm consumed by what I feel. Maybe you can identify.

I've learned a few things over the years. Medication can be helpful. Caring, praying friends are priceless. My husband is a Godsend. But Truth… that's the key.

Here's what I know, also from Psalm 18-

"He delivered me, because He delighted in me." (v. 19)

That's what I'm working on, sometimes hour by hour, immersing myself in that assurance. In spite of what it tells me, depression is temporary. Truth, especially the truth in Psalm 18, is eternal.

Have you or a loved one ever struggled with depression? What helped?

Frailty

Paula — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 11:19:54 +0000

I don’t typically post on Wednesdays, but as part of Kelly Langston’s Authenticity Challenge, here we are. Each day I’m discussing what I believe is a key component to authentic faith and how I’m working on that in my own life.

On Wednesday mornings, I’m privileged to lead a ladies Bible study group and this week we looked at Psalm 78. The psalm details God’s interventions on behalf of Israel and their sins against Him in spite of it. In the middle of the Psalm are the words “For He remembered that they were but flesh”.

Frailty. It is common to all of humanity, but accepting it, even embracing it is unique among believers. I struggle with depression and have all of my adult life. It wasn’t until I admitted that this was something I couldn’t solve myself, that healing began. Grace and mercy in time of need became a daily reality rather than an abstract theological concept. I got real with my friends, and they’ve walked this road with me. It’s been bumpy at times. I’ve taken medication for 5 years and I’ve seen a psychiatrist and a therapist for close to 4 years now. Last week, my psychiatrist cut me loose. I’m managing well enough to go off medication. I still have quite a bit of work left with my therapist, but that’s another story for another day.

On Monday I mentioned that there is no place for shame in my life any longer, so frailty is nothing to be ashamed of. My weaknesses are just avenues for God to display His power and His strength. The more I acknowledge those weaknesses, the more He can work through them. However if I hide them, deny them or try to fix them myself, I tie His hands.

Frailty isn’t a justification for inaction. It’s a determination to persevere anyway. Just because I’ve owned one frailty doesn’t mean this is easy or even natural. I still fight it every chance I get. I don’t want to be “frail”. I do want to bring glory and honor to God. And frailty does just that. 2 Corinthians 4:7 explains “we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not us.”

Frailty isn’t a justification for inaction. It’s a determination to persevere anyway. Just because I’ve owned one frailty doesn’t mean this is easy or even natural. I still fight it every chance I get. I don’t want to be “frail”. I do want to bring glory and honor to God. And frailty does just that. 2 Corinthians 4:7 explains “we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not us.”

Anger Management

Paula — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 13:16:37 +0000

Camp for the elementary age kids finishes today. My two younger ones cannot wait for Lauren to get back home.

Continuing with a peek at the camp lessons… Dan and I talked with the kids about being superheroes, that God had given us powers to accomplish a mandate, but we also reminded them that we have weaknesses the Enemy will exploit. One of the big ones is anger.
Ephesians 4:26-27 reads: In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (NIV)

Satan will take advantage of our anger and get us distracted from our mission. Whether it explodes or it’s stuffed, anger can destroy our relationships, our focus and our credibility as followers of Jesus Christ. So what is anger exactly? Anger is an emotional response to being or feeling wronged that leads to a desire for vengeance. What’s wrong with that? God says, “Vengeance is Mine. I will repay.” (Deuteronomy 32:25). If I act on my anger, I am taking on God’s responsibility. That’s called “usurping”. It shows I don’t trust God to handle the situation.

I struggle with stuffing anger. Stuffed anger can morph into bitterness or depression, either of which can destroy a person. In writing fiction, I can explore these issues through my characters. In Contingency, Bobbi stuffs her anger at Chuck’s affair and slides into depression. I shared a few things I’ve learned in my own battle as she fights her way out.

It is possible to be angry without sinning, but it’s hard. Our best strategy is to avoid it altogether. Knowing what causes it can help us avoid it. James 1:19 gives a three step strategy for avoiding anger.

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (NIV)

Quick to listen – Make sure you get all the facts and that you understand them. Don’t jump to conclusions!!
Slow to speak – DON’T say the first thing that pops in your head, which is usually something like “You big dummy, how could you do something so stupid?!” This only escalates things. It is NOT helpful.
Slow to become angry – Don’t fly off the handle.