I love the story of the prodigal son. It’s such a deep story with so many layers and applications. For just a moment, focus with me on the end of the story. Imagine being that young man thrust in the middle of the banquet. He was surrounded by family and friends who had known him since he was a kid, but they also knew his story. Everybody there knew what he had done, knew how he had disrespected his father, knew how he had lived his life. They’d heard all the gossip about the immorality, the prostitutes and the partying.

How do you feel? Uncomfortable? Ashamed? Undeserving? Afraid of rejection?

Ephesians 1:3-6 contain some of the most mind-blowing truths in Scripture, and it finishes up with God’s grace “by which He made us accepted in the Beloved”. Accepted- highly favored, honored, showered with blessing.

As the boy journeyed home, his only concern was how his father would receive him. His father welcomed him joyfully, his heart overflowing with love. How does our Father receive us? The very same way. Everyone else at the banquet shared the father’s heart and rejoiced with him. Only those outside the banquet resented the grace the father showed the prodigal.

I need to focus on my Father, who accepts me, favors me, showers me with blessing. The people outside the banquet- He’ll deal with them in His wisdom just as the father in the story approached his older son.

When it’s someone else’s banquet, I need to make sure which side of the door I’m on- the rejoicing side or the pouting side.

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• Coming Home – Why the Prodigal Son Was Welcomed Back (lynnmosher.blogspot.com)

The key to authentic Christian faith is an honest assessment of who I am. I have to grasp that everything I have is a result of Christ’s work and not any merit of my own. However, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. I can’t say or do anything to make God love me any more. I can’t do anything to cause Him to stop loving me, either.

I love the story of the prodigal son, and the father’s unfailing, unconditional love for his son. Many times though, I’ve wondered what it must have been like to be that boy in that moment before he walked into the banquet his father threw in his honor. Was he uncomfortable? Did he feel like he was home, or was he ashamed to face the rest of his family and friends?  I’m not sure I could have walked into the banquet.

God speaks to His enemies in Isaiah 65:13  ”Behold, My servants shall rejoice, but you shall be ashamed.”

Joy is a confidence that is future focused.  No matter what happens NOW, I know what will be. (Through faith, I know it.) Shame dwells on the past.  Shame says, Because of what happened THEN, I know what I am. (Through experience or through someone else telling me, I know it.) Joy is to trust God. Shame is to trust man -whether self or someone else. Joy is empowering. Shame is debilitating. Shame comes from the outside, joy from within.

Being one of God’s children cannot co-exist with being ashamed. He removed all my shame when the salvation transaction was completed. I’m the only one who can allow the shame back. When Satan delivers it to my doorstep, it may be labelled failure, or regret, or a label I’m not expecting. No matter what, I must not pick up the baggage.

One of the most difficult seasons we can go through is when God is silent. It shakes me up, even if it’s only a few days. While I was at the beach, I presumed that would be the perfect time to hear from God, but by the second day, He wasn’t speaking. I was reading the last chapters of Isaiah, 40-66, with all those great passages, and I thought more than once that God was really missing a great opportunity. Surely, He had something to say…

I got tremendously frustrated, and began to suspect that my trip was a mistake. Every old reflexive fear and insecurity roared back. Did I make God angry somehow? Is that why He wasn’t speaking? Or maybe I was right after all, and that deep intimate relationship wasn’t possible.

The day before I left, as I sat on the beach, mentally reviewing the week, I remembered the prodigal. That’s when I heard from God. “I don’t want to overwhelm you,” He said. “That banquet is yours, but I want you to enjoy it to its fullest. I don’t want you to question whether you belong or not. We’re going to take this slowly so that when you know, you know, and you never question your place with Me again.”

God knows my frame and remembers that I am dust. The silent days… Just because I’m not getting constant reinforcement from my Father doesn’t mean His heart has changed. Not at all. He was doing a work that only He could do, in His wise way. It was a lesson in trust. The parting words He gave me were, “Hold on tightly to the things you know in your head, and I will make sure your heart understands them in time.”

I’ll keep you posted on how that’s going.

What am I writing? – After incorporating the changes Mary DeMuth suggested for my opening, I’m proofreading then entering Contingency in a contest. The prize is a look at the first chapter by an agent. After this, I’m taking the rest of July off. (We’ll see how well I stick to that ) The next project looks like Claire and Mike Jamison’s story. Claire was Nick’s attorney from the 5th book, and she was a scene stealer. Her ex-husband Mike, left her for another guy and she turned all her hurt and bitterness on him in divorce court. As this story opens, their oldest daughter is getting married and she wants her father to give her away. How will Claire deal with this and with facing Mike again? It has the makings of a great one. I hope I can capture it all. Interestingly, the book that has stayed with me the longest is the story of Doug and Cass’ struggle with his Alzheimer’s. That’s the one that constantly runs through my head even now.

What have I learned? – No geeky stuff this week. I was too busy catching up. However, if you Twitter, I will recommend the new and improved Mr. Tweet. Refollow helps organize your followers with a slick interface.

What have I read? – One of the glorious things about vacation was that I got to read a book a day! I finished The Great Influenza. In the 1918 pandemic an estimated 50 million (!) people died. Adjusted for today’s population, that would mean 1.75 million deaths in the United States. Now consider the Tribulation when 25% of the people succumb through disease or famine or war. That’s 95 million people, just in the U.S. It causes the mind to reel.

Next, I read Karen Rabbit’s Trading Fathers. It’s memoir about learning to trust God after her father molested her. She describes the freedom and healing that come in forgiveness and in turning things over to her Abba Father to deal with. A tough topic but she treated it with frankness balanced with sensitivity.

The Mom Factor by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend is a look at how our mothers impacted us. I enjoy reading these kinds of books, not just for myself, but they are invaluable when I build characters. I grabbed tremendous insights for Nick and his mother when I get to rewriting Stolen Blessings.

Sin, Pride and Self-Acceptance by Terry D. Cooper was not what I expected. It is a summary overview of all the theological viewpoints of what man’s greatest sin struggle is. Is it pride or is our inability to approach God rooted in our inability to accept ourselves? I’m old school, so I agreed more with the ‘pride’ people, but it was good to read a balanced, thoughtful treatment of all sides. I felt like I was in seminary that day. I need a good brain workout like that.

In the Grip of Grace is an old Max Lucado book that I bought for a dollar. It’s a conceptual overview of the first eight chapters of Romans. There’s very little sermonizing, and much more explanation and application. It would be a great introduction for new Christians or for someone mentoring new believers.

Finally, I read Soul Repair by Jeff Van Vonderen and Dale and Juanita Ryan. This book was really the heart of what I wanted to accomplish on my trip. They introduce four types of damage done to our spiritual selves, whether it be spiritual abuse of authority, addiction to the ’stuff’ of faith, trying to single-handedly bring changes in the lives of those around us or spiritual anorexia where, for whatever reason, we have difficulty receiving from God. They also invite us to examine the distorted images of God we may have developed. They offer several steps toward rebuilding genuine intimacy with the God of the Bible. I highly recommend it.

What have I learned? – In Soul Repair, there was a look at the parable of the prodigal son. I recently taught that on Wednesday and in Sunday school. If God brings something in front of you that many times, He’s trying to say something. The story is so rich in meaning and there are so many lessons we can take from it. This time, I realized I have a lot in common with both sons. I could feel how awkward it would be to be the guest of honor at the banquet the father threw. Everyone, all the friends and family knew what the boy had done. Did they welcome him as the father did? Were there uncomfortable moments between the boy and the other guests? The father didn’t care, though. He lavished his love on the boy. That’s what the young man (and I) needed to focus on. But then I’ve also accused God of not providing things I never asked for, just as the older boy did. I’ve harbored bitterness over a host of perceived slights that existed only in my mind. I need to hear the father’s words to the older son. “All I have is yours.”

Luke 15 gives us three of Jesus’ most famous parables, the lost sheep, the lost coin and the prodigal son. The three stories are strung together by Jesus to emphasize a common theme- the restoration of the lost. I had the privilege to teach these to my Sunday school kids and my Wednesday night kids recently, but I had a flash of insight on the stories.

Is Jesus talking about the lost finding salvation or Christians who stray and are restored? The answer is both. The sheep and the coin represent the lost who come to Christ for the first time. They didn’t purposely get lost- they just were, and in each case, there is a search and an honest desire to return the lost items to their place. We are born with a sin nature. We don’t have to intentionally do anything to end up lost, and we’re powerless to prevent it. But God found us and restored us to our place, in a relationship with Him that was lost when Adam sinned.

Now the boy is a different situation. He is a son and he willfully chooses to walk away from his father. The father doesn’t search for him. He watches and waits, ready to receive him. The boy comes to himself, in humility recognizes what a mess he’s in (literally and figuratively), has a change of heart and wants restoration. That’s what the father was waiting for! The fact that the boy came home is all the evidence the father needs to restore him, not just to the family, but the line about ‘put a ring on his finger’ indicates the boy was once again made a joint heir with his elder brother. It was as if he had never left.

When we as believers walk away from God, He doesn’t search for us, but waits for that genuine change of heart. When we drag ourselves back in humility and repentance, our gracious Father takes us in His arms before we can finish our speech.

Grace is a risky business, after all, what’s to stop the boy from leaving again? Not a thing. The father loves the son and yearns for that relationship, that communion so deeply that to him, it’s a risk worth taking. Sometimes we are hesitant to extend grace because of that risk. We’re afraid. When we see others with the eyes of Christ, we will love more, and fear less.

Is there a relationship in your life in which  God is calling you to risk grace?