Proverbs 1:5 A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel

Scripture encourages us to seek out advice from others and nearly all the characters in my books do at one time or another. These mentors often prove difficult to write because I have to figure out the answer to the questions they get asked. I also want to construct my mentors so they’re credible. Whether in real life or in fiction, here are four things I look for in a counselor.

1. Godliness – Unless the person has a deep, committed walk with Christ, the advice he or she gives will be tainted no matter how sincere or well-meaning, or how long you’ve known them.

2. Maturity – I want spiritual maturity, a tested faith. I also want someone with some life experience behind them. That doesn’t mean our life experiences have to mirror each other, but I want to know the person has weathered some storms.

3. Compassion – A good counselor hurts with you, and sometimes he or she will hurt for you. They share your heart.

4. Humility – None of us knows everything, and a good counselor can say “I don’t know.” Rely on someone who will help you seek God’s face when those answers just aren’t there.

Not every study can be completed in one sitting, especially if you are doing a topical study rather than a passage study. For example, several years ago, I determined I really didn’t know or understand how the Holy Spirit worked. I started a list in the back of my Bible and every time I came across a verse dealing with the Spirit, I made a note. I wrote down the reference and what the verse taught me about the Holy Spirit. After a year or so, not only did I have my own personal Holy Spirit ‘concordance’ but I had a much better grasp on how He worked.

I have several of these long-running studies in progress. The biggest one is ‘fear of the Lord’. I read a fantastic book called When People Are Big and God Is Small by Edward T. Welch. In it, he described the trouble we run into when we let people’s opinions influence and affect us more than God’s opinion. He cited several Scriptures dealing with the fear of the Lord. I started marking them and keeping track on my own. Here’s one of my entries:

Proverbs 14:26 In the fear of the Lord, there is strong confidence
It produces not only faith in God’s actions and character, but faith in my own course of life.  If I am constantly living in fear of the Lord, then I can be sure my choices are the right ones and the things I am doing are within God’s will.  It makes me much more attuned to His ways and purposes.

I have a list of benedictions, of verses for my husband that describe men of character (he is one, for sure) My newest one is on the wilderness. A lot of stuff seemed to happen in the wilderness, so I got curious and started a list. I also have a few lists that are more narrow in scope like the names and descriptions of God in the Psalms, and the righteous vs. the wicked in Proverbs.

This is a good, no-pressure way to study something that interests you. The only caution is… don’t lose your list! I lost a chunk of some of my lists in a computer hiccup so I’m ‘restudying’ those topics.

Yesterday, I finished reading The Giver, a Newbery winner from 1993, by Lois Lowry. I cannot wait to start discussing it in class! It’s a deep book with weighty themes. In fact, I’m shocked it’s a children’s book. There will probably be several posts about it in the coming days. The story is set in a tightly controlled society in the present or near future. Every facet of life is regulated by the Committee of the Elders. They choose your mates, your career, your children and even the day of your death (we find out later). In exchange for the regulation, people enjoy a safe, pleasurable life with no upsets. There is one elder, however, who carries within him the collective memories of the society throughout their history. He alone remembers pain, suffering, loneliness and grief. He is also the only one who knows true joy and love. A twelve year old boy is sent to train with him and eventually take the old man’s place. That’s the background.

The boy asks the old man why the community needs to remember pain and suffering. Wouldn’t they all be happier without it? The old man replies that the memories- which for him means reliving the events- bring wisdom. Proverbs in the sourcebook for wisdom, but one verse in particular 8:35 reads ‘For whoever finds [wisdom] finds life, and obtains favor from the Lord.’ I admit, I don’t want pain or suffering. Most days, I don’t even want aggravation. But it’s the difficulties that make me depend on God’s grace, on His strength, not mine. It’s the suffering that allows me to become more Christlike, so I may know Him … and the fellowship of His sufferings. (Phil 3:10) Suffering and pain bring an intimacy into our relationship with Christ that cannot be achieved by any other means. And that realization is just a small sliver of wisdom.