Alan taught me an important lesson about worship, and I wrote about it here. However, he got me again in a most unexpected way. One of his favorite, and I mean favorite toys is his whoopee cushion. He laughs every single time, falling over on the floor, cracking up kind of laughing. Every time. “This never gets old!” he says once he catches his breath again.

That’s what I’m missing. My worship does get old. If it gets old to me, I’m afraid to think how God views it. Thinking about Alan, I found 4 things he had while playing, that I need to infuse into my worship.

Spontaneity - He doesn’t schedule when he plays. It just happens. Real worship can’t scheduled. It naturally flows out of a full heart. (Now- this is NOT to say that real worship can’t happen during our weekly scheduled services. It absolutely should. My point is that is can’t be switched on and off with the clock.)

Focus - When Alan plays, he only has one toy. He’s not thinking ahead to what’s next. He is totally in the moment. I admit, I get in church and my brain wanders off like a toddler in a theme park. (Another story for another day perhaps.)

Energy - Alan goes after that whoopee cushion with gusto. In fact he’s burst a couple of them in his exuberance. Too many times, my worship becomes a passive spectator activity.

Delight - Alan LOVES that whoopee cushion. I need to develop that excitement, that thrill of just being in God’s presence.

Part of my problem is my relationship with God is too formal. I mean, He’s GOD, after all. I can’t just… you know… And I realize this is an issue. In the last year or so, God has gently been guiding me toward real intimacy with Him, not just ‘knowing about” Him, but having that sense of belonging. Letting go of shame was one step on that road. Genuine worship is another.

What am I writing? – I started a new book draft this week! Yay! It feel so good to be writing new stuff once again. I'll post the chapter once I get it tweaked a little. The August newsletter went out this week. If you didn't get one, you can read it here, and sign-up for future ones using that form at the right. What have I learned? Nerdy things about the site here, and my newsletter manager- Vertical Response. I won't bore you with the details.

  What am I reading? Where Did I Leave My Glasses? about normal memory loss, partly because learning, memory and brain function fascinate me, partly for research purposes for Doug's book. It's a fun read, but still incorporates the latest research in cognitive neuroscience (without making it sound that heavy and boring). Next week… a month of fiction begins!

What has God taught me? We're doing Lifeway's Boomerang Express VBS this week, and the tagline is "It all comes back to Jesus". It does. In the end, nothing else matters. I told the kids Wednesday night, that we make dozens of decisions every day- what to eat for breakfast, which shirt to wear – and most of those decisions don't matter at all, but what we decide to do with the facts about Jesus Christ… that matters for all eternity. Sometimes we get so familiar with the gospel, it loses its wonder. It's been great to see the fresh unabashed enthusiasm the kids have for Jesus. It's definitely given me a boost.

Last night while I skimmed over my Facebook updates, there was a little note about one of my nephews being tagged in a photo album called ‘our wedding’. For an instant, my brain jumped to ‘He got married?!’, especially since this particular nephew is notorious for being less than forthcoming with the details of his life. Of course, it wasn’t him… just a friend. Whew! But it made me think back to when his older brother got married. Alan was just shy of his 5th birthday, and the wedding reception was the biggest, best party he had ever been to. He loved the music, and danced with complete abandon. Five year old boys do just about everything with complete abandon. Of course it’s all on video, and you can hear Alan say, “Watch me, Dad!” I love that. He didn’t care what anyone around him was doing. He didn’t care if he was doing all the ‘right’ steps. His dad was there watching, and that was all that mattered.

I’ve been thinking about worship these last few days, and Alan taught me a lesson that evening that I still need to grasp completely. God wants me to enjoy His presence with that same joyful abandon. Just like Jon brought us to the wedding reception for the purpose of celebrating, God will bring me aside with Him to celebrate. (Isn’t that what worship is? Not all formal, stiff and lifeless.) I’m usually much more like the other Wiseman men at the reception, off to the side, hands in my pockets, missing the opportunity. I’m way too self-conscious, way too concerned with how things might look to everyone else. But if my Dad is watching and smiling, what else really matters?

The wedding reception only lasted a few hours, and in the same way, eventually I have to get back to the work that God gave me. There’s a day coming, though, when the wedding reception never ends, and I’ll be there, not just with my Dad, but with the Bridegroom Himself.

Today is the absolute last post on 2 Chronicles… at least until I come back around to it again. Chapter 35 describes the Passover that Josiah led the people to observe, and the account says in v. 18 that ‘There had been no Passover kept in Israel like that since the days of Samuel the prophet…’ For 400 years, the worship of God had not been what it was during those days. What made the difference? Thursday, we discussed the importance of having a leader who is following God with his whole heart and soul. I think there is another significant factor. Preparation. Seven times in that chapter, there is mention of preparation for worship.

I admit, I’m rarely ever properly prepared for a worship service. With children at home, I’m thankful just to get to church in one piece. But those times when I do have the opportunity to transition my heart and mind from the mundane things to the wonder and awe of God’s presence, something special happens. My preference would be to have some quiet time alone, then a good long music service before hearing the Word taught.

In some ways, that desire reminds me of Apollo 13. (Not the ‘Houston we have a problem” part- although some days I could make a case for that.) In order to conserve power, they had shut down almost every system in the craft. As the astronauts were getting closer to home, Jim Lovell was instructed to burn off some of the fuel. Without the computers, they risked veering off course from the thrust of the fuel burn. In order to stay on the proper heading, Lovell instructed the other two astronauts to keep the earth in the window. As long as they did that, they would stay on course. In other words, use that frame of reference beyond us, outside our situation. Stay centered on that no matter what happens around you. When my worship falls flat, that focus is what I’ve lost.

Can I take just a minute and be a mommy? Thanks. Alan had his last baseball game last night, and it was a good one! He just about put one over the fence, definitely the longest hit of the year for him AND he caught a fly ball playing defense at the pitcher’s mound. (Not just any fly ball, but a fly hit by the best player on the other team- we know, he was on Alan’s team last year.) So woo hoo! Did I mention football camp is next week?

As God brings me along, driving the reality of His love and care for me deep into my heart, He highlighted a verse while I read Tuesday morning. 2 Chronicles 16:9 “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.” God is on the alert, looking for ways, for opportunities to intervene on behalf of those who trust Him. Now I have to remember that MY definition of showing Himself strong and God’s definition may not always line up. That’s why it appears- to me- He’s abandoned me at times. I’m looking for Him in the wrong places.

I also have to be careful not to fall into the trap of believing I wasn’t loyal ‘enough’, and that’s why God didn’t intervene. God doesn’t operate that way. All the faith we have is a gift from Him who gives us ‘every spiritual blessing’ (Eph 1:3) God is not going to hold out on me. Faith is faith. I know Jesus talked about having faith like a mustard seed and so forth, but the point of that comparison is the God who moves mountains, not the measure of my faith. Focusing on the ’size’ of my faith can lead to an unresolvable mess- can I get two mountains moved for grape-sized faith?

This verse in 2 Chronicles is not about my loyal heart, but about the God who seeks to show Himself strong, to glorify Himself by doing something only He can do. When that happens, the situations in my life become an avenue of worship, a chance for God to be seen for who He is, in His glory and power. Really, that’s the whole point.