Many of you are aware that my family has been on a nearly three-year adoption journey. I have an update.
This past summer, we accepted a referral to adopt a baby boy. His due date was October 7. On August 28, we had the opportunity to meet with the birthmother, and things went well. On September 25, she texted us that in the beginning, she was “1000%” sure adoption was the best thing. Now, she was having second thoughts.
That was the last contact we had with her. She is not responding to the case worker’s attempts to contact her, either.
We paid her living expenses for three months, and as a result, it will be almost impossible for us to accept another referral and pursue another placement. Our license expires in March, and Jon will turn 50 next year, so it appears that our adoption window will close.
While this outcome was outside the possibilities–even the bad ones–I considered, God was well aware from the beginning. The tricky question is why? What purpose did it serve for us to go through this process seemingly for nothing? I don’t have an answer. I know that God in His awesome deity is not obligated to explain His ways to me … but I wish He would.
God can still act. Things can change rapidly and dramatically. Whether they do or even if they do not, HIS question remains, “Will you still TRUST Me? Will you still FOLLOW Me?”
There is no other answer but yes. But it’s a difficult yes.
My faith is wounded, to be sure, but it is healing.
Thank you for your prayers throughout.
Trials dark on every hand,
and we cannot understand
all the ways of God would lead us
to that blessed promised land;
but he guides us with his eye,
and we’ll follow till we die,
for we’ll understand it better by and by.
Charles A Tindley
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9
Paula says
Tara,
Thank you so very much for your kind encouragement. We had retained an attorney throughout the process and so the possibility of a private adoption is still out there. We have a phone meeting scheduled to discuss our options. The adoption, like everything, is in God’s hands. Thank you for your prayers.
Blessings!
PS If your book club ever wants to read through the Covenant books, let me know. Maybe we can Skype a discussion.
tara says
Paula – there will be good and please never give up hope! Through a church book club I started I have witnessed a similar situation, a couple had been through the process not only once but twice. In one of them they had already been given the baby but the state has a law that allows a birth mom to change her mind within a certain amount of time… imagine the pain of holding & loving a child and then having to give him back. The couple decided they just couldn’t do it again, both for the expense or more importantly the emotional toll it had taken. …..Well a couple of months later their case worker called and encouraged them to try this one last time – long story short they went through the motions trying to not get any false hope or emotional attachment – the birth was about 6 weeks away. At about 3 weeks before the due date during an ultrasound the doctor “discovered” TWINS!!!!! Well 4 years later I can tell you those babies are an amazing example of the miracles God still delivers!
My prayers will be with you as you continue your journey!
Thank you for sharing your gifts as an author – my walk with God has been a little too distant lately but after stumbling upon the Covenant series a renew fire has been lit – Thank You!
Paula says
Thank you, Pam. Jon has mentioned that we were able to step in and provide help to this young woman at a very critical time and so may still have a lasting impact on this boy’s life. We’ll know for sure one day.
pam says
Paula. . Thank you for sharing. I have no words for you. . But that there will be good through this. .i know you already know this. I wish i had my notes with me right now from our pastors sermon a couple of weeks ago because my mind fails me right now and he had something very good to say about situations as these. You are such an inspiratIon to me. I tell EVERYONE about your writings. Thank you for being a part of my life and for being a part of the young mothers life. To God be the glory.