Posts that reference the book of Lamentations

Since the Fall we have struggled not only with the content of our thoughts but the process as well. Yes, even the very way we size up situations and apply knowledge and experience to them is tainted by sin. In other words, we are constantly plagued by fallacies and cognitive distortions. Last time we reviewed three distortions that are interrelated — minimizing, maximizing, and disqualifying. Today’s we’ll look at a couple of fallacies — fairness and control.

Remember a fallacy is a belief we hold that is built on faulty logic, most often because we build conclusions on faulty premises.

Everything should be fair.

One the surface we would all agree with that statement. In fact, you may be ready to challenge my statement that this is a fallacy. There are two problems with that statement, however. First of all, who defines fair? If we as human beings do it, we will inevitably define fair in a way that gives us an advantage. Not to mention the fact that we generally see ourselves as fair.

The second thing is, when we say fairness, we really mean justice. We want things to be just. We want good rewarded and evil punished. We want hard work to pay off and laziness to result in failure. We want to get what we deserve and we want that for everyone else.

The expectation of fairness is based on a faulty premise.

“Life isn’t fair,” is often one of the first hard lessons we learn. But we don’t always consider why life isn’t fair. We live in a world that is broken by sin. It is irreparably broken and it cannot function in a way that is fair or just. We are broken people and even our best intentions derail. We have experienced unfair treatment and we have experienced injustice.

In our spiritual life, we can get discouraged if we focus on the unfairness and injustice. We can get frustrated with God who seems not to notice or care, or who doesn’t intervene on our behalf or right the wrongs we see. If we persist, we presume to judge what is fair and what isn’t, putting ourselves in God’s place.

God created us in His image. That longing for fairness, for justice comes from Him, so that in itself is not a bad thing. We must recognize that God is the only one who can deliver perfect justice.

The LORD works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed. Psalm 103:6

Anyone who is not God (that’s us) will work in ways that, intentionally or not, result in unfairness. We are not perfect, nor can we be, and we do not have perfect knowledge and understanding. Only God sees the entire situation, all extenuating circumstances and all the motives behind our actions.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? “I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.” Jeremiah 17:9-10

Because God sees and knows everything, His judgments then are perfect. And so is His timing. We get impatient in the face of unfairness, but make no mistake, God will set things right.

Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. Isaiah 30:18

We like the feeling of control

Our culture values those who take charge, who chart their own paths, who make things happen. We feel most secure when things happen according to our plans and expectations, or when people respond the way we want them to. No waves. Not even any ripples.

Control is an illusion

We react mentally and emotionally when things seem out of control, specifically out of our control. We labor under feelings of powerlessness. We are swept along by circumstances. We don’t have a say in the things going on in our lives. Sometimes it’s the opposite. We feel excessive responsibility. We have to make things right, or we have to ensure things run smoothly.

The truth is, there is very little we have control over. We can choose our responses, and honestly, that’s about it. But ever since the Garden, we have wanted to be like God and exercise our control over the world. The irony is we forfeited that dominion God entrusted us with for a piece of fruit. Perhaps that’s why we long for control.

In our spiritual lives this desire for control can manifest in a power struggle. Will God be God in our lives our will try to push Him off the throne and run things ourselves. On the flip side, it can show up in a belief that God is just as powerless to affect our circumstances as we feel we are. Both are false versions of God.

God is the creator of heaven and earth, and as such, He controls and oversees everything that happens. There is nothing that happens outside of God’s directives.

Who has spoken and it came to pass, unless the Lord has commanded it? Lamentations 3:37

Paul explains the degree to which God is so far above us.

…[H]e who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone has immortality, who dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see. To him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen. 1 Timothy 6:15-16

The wondrous thing about God is that this incredible power, evidenced by His sovereignty over all, is exercised according to His perfect goodness and love for us. Romans 8:38-39 assure us that we as His children cannot be separated from His love.

This outworking of this is that we don’t have to control anything. And we don’t have to despair when things aren’t fair. Our great God, who loves us beyond understanding, has everything under control. He will ensure His perfect justice and fairness will have its way.

We just have to let go of the fallacies and trust God. (Keep working on it.)

Just so we’re clear, I’m not a counselor. I read, research, and study, and I have some life experience. I am not attempting to diagnose anything, but rather help us evaluate how we think based on Scripture.