PAULA WISEMAN

Faith and life meet in a story

Home » Uncategorized » Page 6

4 Things to Look for in a Counselor

By

iStock_000025270087SmallA wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel. Proverbs 1:5 

Who do you listen to? Who influences your decisions? Who do you seek counsel from?

I don’t necessarily mean a formal professional counseling (although these guidelines will work for them, too). We all go through seasons or experiences when we need a little advice, direction or encouragement.

Scripture encourages us to seek out advice from others and nearly all the characters in my books do at one time or another. (These mentors often prove difficult to write because if a character asks a tough question… I have to figure out the answer before the mentor does.) Whether in real life or in fiction, here are four things to look for in a counselor.

1. Godliness – Choose a person with a deep, committed walk with Christ. If they live out godly principles you can trust that the advice he or she gives will help not only help you resolve things in a way that honors God, but one that will point you toward a deeper relationship with Him.

2. Maturity – I want spiritual maturity, a tested faith, someone with some life experience behind them. That doesn’t mean our life experiences have to mirror each other, but I want to know the person has weathered some storms.

3. Compassion – A good counselor hurts with you, and sometimes he or she will hurt for you. They share your heart.

4. Humility – None of us knows everything, and a good counselor isn’t afraid to say, “I don’t know.” Rely on someone who will help you seek God’s face when those answers just aren’t there.

 

What else would you add to the list?

 

 

 

 

3 Easy Ways to Misuse Scripture

By

(This has been a crazy week. I will have some exciting things to share with you very soon. In the meantime, please enjoy this post from the archives with my thanks for your kind understanding.)

 

Technical ProblemIn Luke 4, we read the story of Jesus’s temptation. It’s a deep, rich account of the proof of Christ’s worthiness, and His sinlessness. I’ve taught it several times to my Sunday school kids to drive home the point that we need to know Scripture, and that God’s word is our surest defense against temptation. But it is also a cautionary tale about misusing Scripture, including three subtle ways to do it, all from Satan’s tactics.

Then Jesus, being filled with the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, being tempted for forty days by the devil. And in those days He ate nothing, and afterward, when they had ended, He was hungry. And the devil said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread.” But Jesus answered him, saying, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.’” (Luke 4:1-4)

Tactic #1 – Don’t even bother checking Scripture.
In this first encounter, Satan entices Jesus to exercise His power to meet a legitimate physical need. In a similar way, we rely on our own assessment of a situation and decide how God should respond. When He doesn’t meet our expectations, then we fall into a despair of shaken faith. However, God reveals His character and His ways in His word. Jesus’s response tells us, “You expect God to operate this way, because you don’t see the real, deeper need. That’s the one He’s meeting.” God doesn’t exist to meet our physical needs, and our need to recognize His sovereignty is a more urgent need than even the food we eat. Quite a shift in perspective, isn’t it? Staying in His word helps us focus on God’s view of things rather than our own, and it will go a long way toward preventing us from ascribing the wrong motives to God.

Then the devil, taking Him up on a high mountain, showed Him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time. And the devil said to Him, “All this authority I will give You, and their glory; for this has been delivered to me, and I give it to whomever I wish. Therefore, if You will worship before me, all will be Yours.”And Jesus answered and said to him, “Get behind Me, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’” (Luke 4:5-8)

Tactic #2 – Ignore God’s timing.
This time, Satan tempts Jesus to take His place as ruler of the world. After all, God had promised that to Him. It was His. Satan had at least that much right. Jesus Christ will rule as King of Kings and Lord of Lord, but there is the issue of God’s timing. God has a plan and all these things will fall into place on His schedule. When we seize God’s promises without accounting for His timing in fulfilling them, we risk shattering our faith.

Then [Satan] brought Him to Jerusalem, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down from here. For it is written: ‘He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you,’ and, ‘In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone.’” And Jesus answered and said to him, “It has been said, ‘You shall not tempt the Lord your God.’” (Luke 4:9-12)

Tactic #3 – Take Scripture out of context and twist it to fit a personal agenda.
Satan twists a promise of God’s care and provision into a challenge for God to prove Himself. It’s easy for us to do the same thing. God promises to bless our obedience. However, our ‘obedience’ can’t be used to manipulate God into doing what we ask. We obey God because He’s God, not for what we get out of it. We serve Him and not our own interests. Keeping Scripture in context helps us remember that.

 

God gave us His word to reveal Himself, to strengthen our faith and to guide us through this life. It’s powerful and life-changing. When it’s misused, no matter how sincerely, that life-changing power drags us backwards rather than leading us forward. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit is more than capable of alerting us when things are getting off kilter. It’s up to us to listen.

 

 

What’s Your Motivation?

By

Carrot on a stick incentiveA few days ago, it was seventy-five degrees outside and we were certain spring had finally arrived. The following day, the high was thirty-six. The sky spit snow all morning and the winds were strong enough to knock out electricity for hundreds of people in the county. That reversal also seemed to sap us of all the renewed energy the warmer weather. It suddenly seemed a lot harder to get things started, much less finished and even getting up on time took on an extra level of post Daylight Savings time difficulty. Motivation evaporated overnight. Literally.

Motivation is an elusive concept. Bosses, coaches, teachers and parents would all like to tap into the secrets of motivation. There are dozens of negative motivators.

Fear – Being afraid can prevent us from doing things like that fear of falling, flipping out and dying that keeps me from taking up skydiving like my nephew. The fear of being rejected or ostracized or left alone may push to do things we otherwise might not do.

Guilt – Real or imagined, guilt is the burden that drags us down even as it pushes us to do or to be or to become something that was outside of our original plans.

Obligation – Sometimes we work to get the jump on guilt and try to cover all the bases before it can seep in.

Yes, all those motivators are effective at some level and unfortunately they find their way into our relationship with Christ. We’re afraid of His displeasure. We feel guilty because we don’t measure up to an artificial standard. Serving God becomes joy-sucking duty.

Really, when you think about it, that sounds a great deal like life under the Old Testament law. One of the blessings and benefits of a redeemed life in Christ is freedom from the law. A key feature of that life is a change in motivation.

Love.

In 2 Corinthians 5:14, Paul says the love of Christ compels us … He died for us. He saved us. So that motivates us to live for Him–to serve, to evangelize, to minister.

Or at least that’s how it’s supposed to work.

If the love of Christ doesn’t motivate us, maybe we don’t fully grasp what He saved us from.

Or maybe it’s because we are clinging to law-based system in spite of the reality of our freedom in grace.

Maybe it’s because we don’t understand how lavishly He loves us.

Maybe it’s worth falling in love again.

 

 

Spiders and Witnessing

By

 

Black Widow SpiderI am afraid of spiders. Yes, I know that most of them are only teeny, tiny. Very few of them are even poisonous. Most of them are helpful not harmful. Doesn’t matter.

They are creepy, evil-looking beasts that lurk every-stinking-where. I cannot watch Home Alone when the kid drops his brother’s tarantula on the crook’s face. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets gives me the willies, usually followed by nightmares, and I skipped those pages in the Lord of the Rings when Frodo and Sam met up with Shelob. I put Post-it notes in the kids’ science books so I don’t accidentally flip the page and encounter a spider.

When I married and moved out to the country, my husband teased that he never knew there were spiders out there until I moved in. Twenty years ago I saw I display at the Smithsonian that proclaimed on Earth, you are NEVER more than three feet away from a spider. Thank you, Smithsonian Institute for that little piece of sleep-stealing information.

So bear all that in mind as I relate the following adventure.

A couple of weeks ago, I had just turned into the drive at my daughter’s school, so we sat in a line of cars, inching forward, dropping off elementary school kids one or two at time. It was in that moment that Rachel wailed, “Mom! There’s a spider ON ME!” I couldn’t see it. “It’s HERE! ON ME!” (She’s kind of scared of spiders, too.) She held out her sweater so I could see the black spindly-legged devil.

And it was.

 

It was a clear case of my baby or the beast. So I reached over to swipe the spider away. And I missed …   (In retrospect, it was probably a good thing NOT to have it loose in the van. I would have sold the van. Seriously. Jumped out, walked home, sold the van.)

 

Rachel very bravely, very carefully got a tissue for me and I snatched at the spider, grabbing it on the second try. Then I rolled down the window and pitched it outside. Whew. Safe and sound. We confronted the monster, and we lived.

 

Fear is powerful. It often dictates our responses, causing us to act or not act. Usually the only thing that overcomes fear is something that proves even stronger. In my case that morning, it was my mothering instincts, my desire to protect my daughter from a threat, even a small one, and to help her not be afraid.

So here’s the thing. I’m usually afraid to speak up and share my faith. I mean, I know the eternal God and Savior of my soul, the one who loves me without reservation and loves those around me, too, and 999 times out of thousand, I can’t find my voice to tell someone else about Him.

 

After that eight-legged encounter, I think I know why.

 

My desire to obey Jesus, who told me to share my faith, is weaker than my fear.

My love for those people who need to know Him is weaker than my fear.

 

But it doesn’t have to be.

 

In Paul’s letter to the believers in Ephesus, he writes, “Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, For which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.” (Ephesians 6:19-20, NIV)

 

See, even Paul struggled with boldness – which is somehow reassuring – but he dealt with it by committing himself to witnessing and enlisting folks to pray for him. I’m pretty sure that’s a prayer God will honor.

 

I’m also pretty sure speaking up is less dangerous than taking on a black widow.

 

 

 

(Yes. Don’t know where it came from, or how it got on Rachel, but the spider on my daughter, in my car, was positively identified as a black widow. And for the record, I felt a little woozy the rest of the day.)

 

Video Q&A: How long does it take to write a book?

By

 

https://www.paulawiseman.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Video-QA-2-How-long-to-write-a-book.m4v

 

The not so exact transcript:

Another question I get asked pretty often is, ‘how long does it take to write a book?’  That’s a tough question to answer because I never work on just one book from start to finish. Usually what I do is draft a book, then set it aside and go to work on a second book. When the second book is drafted, I go back and edit the first one. After the edits are finished, I’ll set it aside again and draft a third book. After that draft is finished, I’ll come back and do the final edits on the first book.

When it’s all said done, it really takes about eighteen months to put a book together. Take that into consideration when you sit down and finish it in six hours. That’s eighteen months of labor.

If you have a question you’d like me to answer email me. The address is paula at paulawiseman dot com.

Thanks!

 

 

Working for God, part 2

By

iStock_000032739122SmallLast week I posted the intro to a talk on work and service. Here are the rest of the points. (If you want to watch the video, it’s on YouTube.)

 

God is a God who works, and His people are designed to imitate Him that way. And it begins at salvation. God didn’t save us for nothing.  Ephesians 2:10 says For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

But because we’ve chosen to follow God, to accept His commission, we become the enemy’s target and a whole host of issues can interfere with our work and service. We’ll look at some of those issues, and some strategies we can use to minimize their impact on our effectiveness.

 

We are underappreciated. Often we work alone or unnoticed. No one knows how many extra hours we put in, how many times we are the first ones at church or the last ones to leave.

RESPONSE: We need to become each other’s advocates. Be a blessing and an encouragement to someone else. This goes double for your pastor and other leaders. So much of the time the only feedback they receive is negative.

We get tired. In an age when we have more comfortable beds, better, safer surroundings than ever before, we are less rested than we have ever been.

RESPONSE: God modeled rest for us as well. While the Bible never encourages laziness, Scripture does confirm our need to rest. Start by resolving to go to bed early one night a week or to take a Sunday afternoon nap. Rest is good. God said so. If we don’t rest…

We burnout. We’ve had periods where it seemed like we had church functions 5 out of 6 nights a week and 3 on Sunday. If that’s your life, you can’t sustain that. The best way to tell if you’re careening towards burnout is to check your level of JOY. If your joy has faded, then it may be time to do some objective evaluation of what you’re doing, and why.

RESPONSE: Refocus on God. Worship and service is about that one-to-one relationship. Try getting away for a weekend, a day, or even an afternoon. Leave your phone and spend some time alone with God and rediscover the JOY of your relationship.

We get stuck doing things we were never meant to do. Bless you for being willing to step in and work outside your giftedness, but that’s an indication that someone else should be stepping in.

RESPONSE: Don’t be afraid to talk to your leadership and work with them to identify and train someone to take over. Don’t let yourself feel guilty or lazy. When we take on things we weren’t meant to do.

We start to believe that if we don’t do it, it won’t get done. We become ministry hogs. We start get a little full of ourselves and start to believe God is really lucky to have us on His team. Worse, we prevent other people from using their gifts, from working and serving. We send the message – “There’s no place for you. You aren’t needed.”

RESPONSE: Look at the Biblical model – Paul and Peter were always pulling a young guy along with them. They were constantly turning the reins of ministry over to somebody else. We need to approach work with the mindset of working ourselves out of a job rather than settling in for life.

We mistake success for God’s favor and so we put tremendous pressure on ourselves. We feel like we have to do everything, and do it to perfection or we’ll be letting God down.

RESPONSE: Two radical words – Good enough. Trust God to bless your FAITHFULNESS, and not the results. Trust God to use what you’ve offered and let it go. Be like the kid with the loaves and fishes. What he had was totally inadequate to do the job of feeding the crowd, but he turned it over to Jesus – he LET GO of it – and because he did, Jesus did miraculous things with it.

 We begin to compare ourselves to others, and we get embittered toward our fellow believers, our fellow laborers, and maybe even God Himself.

RESPONSE: Rather than use other believers as our measuring stick, try answering these two questions. Did I do what God asked me to do today? Did my interactions with other people reflect and glorify Jesus Christ?

 

So when frustration is high and energy is low remember this. For God is not unjust to forget your work and labor of love which you have shown toward His name, in that you have ministered to the saints, and do minister. Hebrews 6:10

God sees. You are NOT laboring in the shadows. If no one else notices, God does and He is keeping records. And one day you will hear Him say, “Well done.”